“Kids. You gotta love them. I adore children. A little salt, a squeeze of lemon–perfect.” ― Jim Butcher, Storm Front

I don’t want you to be misled by yesterday’s post; I am not a fan of children.

I don’t dislike children in theory, and I’m okay in small doses.  I’d much rather have a cat or even a dog, as long as it’s something that I can train to leave me alone from time to time. Or at least not get in trouble for locking it out of my room for a while. People seem to have a problem with that sort of thing.

What I’m saying is that kids are annoying. I have days where I don’t want to be around other, fully grown people, not to mention miniature, self-absorbed balls of spiteful glee.

Four-Happy-Children

Pictured above: Nothing but spite and hatred. Multicultural spite and hatred.

Having your own is different, I’m sure. And one day if I find the right person, and we can deal with each other and have decided the world would be okay with another generation of us in it, I would probably make a great dad. But I’m not ready for it. Also I’m kind of worried because I really enjoy stuff like these ideas for children’s books:

689547689547-1689547-2689547-3689547-4

So I may not make a great parent. Or I’d make an excellent parent, if you’re okay with my kid being taught how to mess with people. I guess it kind of depends on your point of view.

However, regardless of how good a parent you are*, please understand that no one likes your kid as much as you do. Your own child is amazing and a gift, other people’s children are ill-behaved and irritating.

——————————————————–

*= Sorry, that was a lie. If you’re a bad parent, everyone hates your kid, too. The lesson here is to be a good parent so that we don’t.

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