“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” -Jim Morrison

I have decided that friendship, not love, is the defining proof that we (humans, in case you’re lost) have an innate desire for companionship.

When you think about it, a real friendship involves no commitment, and requires no promises. There is no set ceremony, no mandatory confession. Furthermore there is no benefit but your emotional response. For love, these things describe the ideal. For friendship, these things are the truth.

Friendship is the weirdest thing: Two people meet and say, “Yep, I like this one,” and then mutually decide to do stuff together. And pretty much for no reason, other than it’s fun. There is no physical imperative, no agenda.

If you ask most people how they became friends, the stories are weird. When it comes to love, people like to make it all rose-tinted. Friendships start a variety of boring and or strange ways, including everything from sharing classes in school to getting punched in the face.

Which brings me to another point: We are designed to find friends, to be social. You can literally pick up your whole life and move it to another part of the world, and you will find friends. I guarantee you; in a new situation you will find someone who is willing to be your friend. I have done it, and I will do it again. I know it’s not easy for everyone. It’s daunting for me, every time.

We are scared to lose our friends. Our friends, who do not fill a biological need and which we can find anywhere across the globe. If we were not inherently social, did not have an innate need for companionship, it would not matter. However illogical, a friendship is a very powerful and important bond, and one that lasts a lifetime. Friendships may be abundant, but they are not disposable.

 

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One thought on ““A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” -Jim Morrison

  1. Lovely. Wonderful observations. And as you age, it will blow your mind when you count the friendships that last for 20, 30, 40… years. Known your mom for over 30…

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